We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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