Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
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