JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
Randomize
