I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Randomize
