I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Randomize
