i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Randomize
