you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
