I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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