I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
I didn't notice because vodka
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
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