also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
That accounts for only three of the penises
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Randomize
