gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
The adults are the big ones right?
Randomize
