So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
