I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Randomize
