Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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