used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
Randomize
