And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Randomize
