somebody snuck up and got me drunk
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
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