If i come over, it means nothing
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
