The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
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