You don't have asthma, your pregnant
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
