if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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