She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
We left the knife in your bed.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Randomize
