just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
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