What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Randomize
