Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Sorry my hands just texted you
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
