You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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