I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
