I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
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