i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
