Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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