I cut my penus on the lid.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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