I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
i think my cat just said my name.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Randomize