u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize
