Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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