Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
