Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
Define "chronic" masturbator.
we're chasing vodka with high fives
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Randomize
