wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
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