I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Randomize
