i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
