Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Randomize
