Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Randomize
