Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
