i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
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