I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
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