You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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