Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
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