So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Randomize
