During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
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