Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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