you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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