discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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