You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
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